Hot Dogs and Lager - Premium Blog - Established 1978

I’m getting fat. That’s a factual statement… not a hyper-sensitive, metro-sexual complaint. If I didn’t spend half my life in gyms and weight rooms, this probably wouldn’t bother me so much. But, alas, it does. Recently, with Spring here and vacation plans looming, I’ve attempted to make the move to light beer in an attempt to prepare myself for a bathing suit… here’s what I’ve found:

1. Light beer blows…
2. I’m not really losing any weight… and…
3. It’s not worth sacrificing flavor and my dignity for a few calories.

All that said… I put together my *list* of light beers. As you’ll see… I fell off the wagon pretty quickly and more or less broke the calorie rules with all of these.

Yuengling Light: not bad. Tasted like Yuengling’s wussy little brother. You know the little brother I’m talking about. The guy that kind of looks like his older brother… only he’s less attractive and really needs to hit the gym a couple times a week so he can put on a few pounds. In the end though, he never gets laid… and the girls he dates tend to always be a little on the “robust” side.

Amstel Light: I do like Amstel quite a bit. I always felt that their tag line “the beer drinker’s light beer” was dead on. I find myself drinking it when other people are downing glasses of wine among the socially elite at business events.

Stella Artois: Okay… so it’s not *technically* a light beer. But it’s 135 calories and in my book… if it’s a gold hue, and I can see through it, it’s a light beer. Bottom line, I love Stella. Much like Amstel Light, I usually pair it with people in black cocktail attire.

Kenzinger: Definitely NOT a light beer… it’s technically a lager. But again, it sports a golden hue and a translucent quality. Not that it matters really… b/c this guy is not a fan. I have been told by several friends that the ‘Zinger is their go-to… they must be hard of taste or something… b/c no thank you!

So bottom line… like I said… I’m off the wagon. Back to hearty Pilsners and hoppy spring lagers.

I love Saint Patrick’s Day. It’s a terrible excuse for people to throw on the only green thing they own, drink way too much Guinness and end up face down in a pile of emerald trinkets. I’m a little Irish - which basically means nothing - so I take a little pride in rolling out for every March 17th hell raising. Shit… I used to take off from work every year for the festivities. I don’t know… there’s something about knocking back a Guinness at 9am that *feels* Irish… and a little wrong… and yet, so very right. And the fact that you’re usually in bed by dinner time is a Win! Win!

These days I don’t participate so much… because you know, I’m responsible and what-not. I usually get to knock back a single Guinness on my way home from work… and I try to wear something green… which is kind of lame. So as I dipped into the white, foamy head of my single glass of velvety black goodness… I got to thinking… I’ll bet that Saint Patrick could party!

So I hit up Wikipedia to learn more about him. I bounced around the known and supposed facts of his tumultuous life (to be fair, it was the 5th century… I’ll bet life in general was pretty damn “tumultuous”). I came across this quote (completely used out of context):

Across the sea will come Adze-head, crazed in the head,
his cloak with hole for the head, his stick bent in the head.
He will chant impieties from a table in the front of his house;
all his people will answer: “so be it, so be it.”

…and the guy banished snakes. All of them. If you ask me… it sounds like that guy could party!

Then, I started poking around the history and traditions of Saint Patrick’s Day. Evidently, it’s a big deal in Argentina. Who knew? And did you know, there’s an Irish Association of South Korea. Yeah. That’s funny all by itself.

And of course it’s a huge drunk-fest here in the States. We even dye rivers green. I know they say it’s safe, but that can’t be good for the water supply. I wonder why other saint-specific, day-long-drunk-fests haven’t caught on. I mean, the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints is a mile a long. There is Saint Stan’s Day on April 11. The guy was Polish. We could grill up kielbasa and drink Zywiec. That’s right, Zywiec.

You will never have sex with Halle Berry… and neither will I. You will only have a roughly vague day-dream of an idea of what it might possibly be like. Only it’ll be the same foggy day-dream of winning the lottery or possibly the World Series. You will be sitting next to Derek Jeter as his carriage moves through the Canyon of Heroes… and inexplicably a unicorn will walk by.

If you happen to be a woman… and you are reading this… that means you saw the title and were immediately intrigued. And that’s awesome… but my point will be lost on you.

Anyways… back to Halle… that’s kind of what the Franziskaner Dark Wheat (German translation: Hefe-Weissbier Dunkel) tastes like. It’s a couple shades darker than a typical wheat… and I’m not sure if it was the light or the relaxing nature of the afternoon… but it was terrifically smooth. It looked amazing… and tasted just as good.

Much as I imagine an evening with Halle would be like. Comforting… relaxing… and everything you would expect it to be. Except, as I have mentioned above in great detail, that will never happen. Also,  I was waiting for a hint of spice… but I forgot that it’s German… and they don’t believe in spice.

If you happen to be at For Pete’s Sake in the next month or so (not sure how long they’ll have it on tap)… stop in and have a pint.

First of all… how about that title! Seriously… I look forward to the day where I single-handedly forever unite the terms “Yuengling” and “McGwire” in a Google query. I mean hell… if he had only juiced up on the Lager, instead of those nasty roids, his path to the hall would have been lined with sweet amber-gold.

Okay… so Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids… shocker. The only thing about this tidbit of obviousness that even remotely relates to this post is the fact that I’m drinking a cold Yuengling Lager… as I do often… and it reminds me of the summer of ‘98 when McGwire and Sammy Sosa battled each other (and the needle) to break Roger Maris’ 37 year old single-season home run record.

You see… I have had countless varieties of beer. Good beers and bad beers and IPA’s and Stoudts and Seasonals and that Narragansett I stole from my grandfather’s stash when I was like 15 (BTW… totally off topic… Naragansett has a pretty decent blog going: www.narragansettbeer.com) and they all have a home in my heart. But there is only one that actually tastes like home. The mighty Yuengling Lager (they do not have an even remotely nice website… kills me every time I have to reference it).

Anyways… by the summer of ‘98 I was going into my junior year of college and was sweating through the hot Philadelphia nights. I remember the All Star Game that summer… and watching a ton of baseball with my buddy James… and drinking lots and lots of Lager.

I suppose the point is that while I love beer… only Yuengling Lager has been there for me. I can mark countless occasions in my life with Yuengling. That summer… Labor Day in Hoboken in ‘00… my first house in ‘02… my wedding day in ‘05. And while I plan on reviewing several beers on this site… I would be remiss if I didn’t first mention America’s Oldest Brewery… the Original Amber Beer.

So while McGwire may be rethinking his decisions the last couple decades… my dedication to Yuengling is one I am happy with.

Welcome. If you are reading this you are most likely my mom or my dad or my wife… or I pay you in some capacity or another. Or maybe you’re a friend and a little curious about this… anyways… thanks for stopping by.

I have worked on this damn thing for 3 months. I chose Tumblr for a few reasons…

1. I’m busy, and this was really easy to set up… and I didn’t have to bother one of my programmers to help. Just Brandon. Thanks Brandon.
2. I really like using big icons, and I couldn’t figure out how to make it work with Wordpress.
3. I’m a dad… and not like a super-duper dad who can juggle his life, his job, his hobbies and his unhealthy obsession with the Phillies and Yuengling Lager with a confident smile and perfect hair… no, I’m a regular dad who is so overwhelmed that I can barely manage to shave once a week.

So maybe that’s like 7 or 8 reasons. Whatever… I’m at peace with all of them.

I’d say the biggest reason I’m doing this is because I’m 31… (or maybe 32… I can’t recall at the moment) and I don’t want to forget certain things. Great beers I’ve tasted… great things I’ve read or heard… great moments with my son…

And I guess they don’t all have to be *great* per se. Just some stuff I don’t want to forget.

So, I wanted this to turn into a rant about how when you launch a website it takes an army of people and services to push traffic to it… but my wife is giving me that “get off the computer and help me raise our son” look… so, I’ll have to get around to that some other time.

(BTW… I have no idea what the hell this thing below is for… maybe for polls or something? I enabled it for some reason, and I can’t figure out how to turn it off. So… feel free to drop an “answer” if you like. If you need a question, here’s one: “What the is the ‘answer’ component below used for?”… okay, go.)